A Day in the Life

Suzanne's Surprise Birthday Party

2012-01-21T11:14:00.000-08:00

The holidays are over and Winter is dragging on. It seems like we have been getting more rain than snow, and that makes it even more dull. I mean really, what can you do in the cold rain? At least the snow makes everything look beautiful and gives you and excuse to stay bundled up with a book all day (and not feel like the lazy person that I know I am).

RJ had suggested a month back that we throw his mom a surprise birthday party. I was all on board until he volunteered our house. Don't get me wrong, I love our house, but it is cozy. Especially when you get to thinking about how large his family is. It's always 15 people, and if you would the children, 19 people. When you are dealing with those type of numbers, EVERYTHING gets to be a little daunting (and this is an intimate gathering!).

He insisted that we should keep it simple with hot dogs and hamburgers, but I knew right away that some people would not eat either, so I very quickly took over the reins of the one person party planning committee. Thanks to my personalized surveys I sent out to his entire family, I knew exactly her favorite foods, textures- ever colors, so I based a lot of the party around that.

I decided to go for a streamlined Mediterranean menu because she loves stuffed grape leaves, so I based the food around that dish.

For the decorations I thought about doing white and green or white and blue for a more Greek atmosphere, but I wasn't really feeling that. With this nasty weather I wanted something that would make me feel happy, so I decided to take cues from a rainbow.

Since my cousins Bar Mitzvah this past year I have been dying to try balloon columns and arches. He had a bunch at his tennis themed party, and I have been wanting to try to construct them myself ever since. Shockingly balloons are not super cheap (in my humble opinion) so I ended up buying $8 worth of them from the dollar store. They come in a mega variety pack, and I had to buy 8 of them in order to have enough of the colors I needed, but in the end I came out way ahead. I'm pretty sure there were defective cast offs from the more expensive kind you would buy say, at Walmart or any other fine balloon purveyor. Some of them had inverted lips or the plastic was stuck together in spots, some of them even popped randomly- but still they got the job done. I bought 2 lengths of 3/4 inch PVC pipe from Lowe's (about $3 per piece) and bought 3 T connectors (about .50 cents a piece) to connect them at the arch and the bottoms. I then took two very large logs from our wood pile and screwed the T-connectors to those to act as an anchor. When I connect the two pieces at the top I applied a little PVC cement to permanently fuse these two pieces together. I then twisted the balloons in groups of fours to create same colored quads, then I twisted the quads around the PVC. And Voila- balloon arch city.

The second major decorating project I took on was much, much more time consuming. I have been salivating over fabric pendants for a while, so I finally decided to go for it. I only had two pieces fabric remnants in my attic, so I decided to deconstruct a bunch of old shirts that no longer fit me. This took a while. Most of the shirts were stretchy to some degree, so this was not ideal for my project. Everything that went into this project came from things I had lying around the house, but if I had to go back in time I would have searched for months ahead of time for proper fabric remnants.

I made a triangle form and traced it onto all of my fabrics. This took forever. I then cut out all of the pieces. This also took a very long time. My living room was a mess for like four days. This is not a 1 day project- obvi. After my pieces were all cut out I did an overcast stitch around all the pieces that could fray easily, and then I attached all the pennants together with a running stitch, and that's it. It was a very simple but time intensive project. I can't wait to do it again with better fabrics. Next time I think I will make the triangles much larger.

To enhance the surprise element, I made confetti by hole punching a ton of construction paper / magazine pages. My carpet is looking pretty festive.

I dressed the tables with mixed vintage place mats and cloth napkins my Granny gave me. I did a simple french napkin fold to make it look nice and fancy. As I see it there are 3 upsides to the cloth table dressings.

1) I didn't have to pay for napkins.

2) It's not nearly as wasteful.

3) It's beautiful!

The most important part of the party was the food by far. The menu was:

Hummus & Pita bread

Tabbouleh

Greek Salad

Beef, Chicken & Veggie Souvlaki

Rosemary and Sage Roasted Carrots

Potatoes sto Fourno

Rice Pilaf

Stuffed Grape Leaves

Apple Pie

Milopita

Ice Cream Cake

I had pita bread for the first time, and it was really, really fun. I also enjoyed making the hummus, although I couldn't get it blended to the consistency that I wanted. Everything turned

out better than I imagined. I made the apple pie and the Milopita because I still have about 40lbs of apples from my apple tree.

For the decorations and food we spent under $60 to feed and entertain 19 people. :)

Christmas Cheer

2011-12-08T09:47:00.000-08:00

Every year Christmas seems to sneak up on me, much like my mom having caught me unprepared for some task I have been warned to do numerous times- or else! Let's face it, Christmas is often times more stressful than joyful. The rushing and the buying, and the buying...this time of year can make you feel as if you are always coming up short.

This year is different.

This year I had 95% of my gifts purchased before Christmas (gotta love that Amazon.com free shipping), so of course we had to go get a tree because my small room was bursting at the seams with unwrapped goodies. We managed to track down a truly lovely cut-your-own tree farm in Lagrange OH, and we convinced the owners to come and let us cut the first tree of the season, a week and a half before Thanksgiving. Needless to say, this take-control-of the season mantra felt really good. While in the past it had always creeped up on me, this year I am determined to enjoy every ounce of the season- on my terms. No sir, I will not let the rat race come between me and my joy this year.

In order to spread my infectious Christmas Joy I decided to throw A Christmas Crafting party the first weekend of December, to show everyone that it really isn't all about spending. I went through the pains of making all of my decorations by hand, to show that handmade crafts don't have to look like grandma's closet- and they don't cost much either!

Now when I say crafting doesn't cost much- let me explain. If anyone has ever been to a Joann Fabrics I know you are screaming "LIAR!" at me right now, because that stuff if anything buy cheap. If you have the time and the patience, you can go one step beyond and truly have a beautiful winter wonderland at a truly great price.

18 people attended my party and contributed $5 each to the cost of the crafting items. This was WAY more than enough so I was able to make food too. For 18 People.

Crafts At My Party

Pine Cone Wreaths

Starlight Mint Garlands

Popcorn Garlands

Traditional Snowflakes

3-D Snowflakes

Decorative Iced Branches

Sequined Ornament Balls

Food At My Party

Chicken Soup

Chicken Pot Pie

Olive Cheese Bread

Decadent Mashed Potatoes

Christmas Cookies

Hot Chocolate (with marshmallows as well)

Iced Tea

Up and Down We Go

2011-08-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

This has been a really rough summer in terms of EVERYTHING on our little homestead. The extremely wet Spring delayed my getting the garden in, which in turn hurts my yields now. Not to mention my free range devils ate off the tops of my corn, which now stand a glorious 3 feet tall.

Then there are the raccoons. Oh the raccoons. They used to be cute to me, now I loathe them. In the Spring we bought 50 meat chickens, and 5 turkeys. I still remember how excited we were at filling our freezers with yummy meats that we figured would last use through the whole year. That vision still existed until about a month ago when we returned from our sojourn in Tennessee to find we were missing some of our rare breeds. Over the next week we saw our numbers drop DRASTICALLY. To make it short, the raccoons killed 12 of our original egg-laying flock, 40 broilers, and 4 turkeys. Yes, you read that right. Anyway- I have since come up with "creative" ways of dealing with those bandy eyed creatures of the night.

Needless to say, I have been feeling bummed for a while. This has seriously affected the steady stream of income I was getting from my brown egg business. Sigh. Well, today I felt a palpable change in my self-loathing, chicken-mourning self, and I started pecking away on my keyboard until I found my way to the mecca of Internet flea markets (no, not that one), Craigslist! I came across a woman thinning her flock who was looking to unload 10 nine month old hens, already laying. I made her an offer (a real steal of a deal) and went to meet her. When I got to her house, it was small, well maintained, and picturesque. Her back yard consisted of a sloping hill shaded by an old cherry tree was met at the bottom by softly flowing stream. Everywhere the eye met you could see beautiful, healthy chickens walking on dark green grass. A big, grey tom cat walked with the chickens contentedly, and a goats bleated in the distance. It.was.perfect. I wasn't sure what type of chickens I would be getting, and they were quite mixed- but in the mix I managed to acquire a VERY special breed. The name of the breed is a Partridge Chantecler, and they account for less than 1% of the chickens in our country. She is a sweet little thing, and I expect smallish eggs out of her.

Tonight, we head to Oberlin to another beautiful farm to pick up 3 Bourbon Red Turkeys, which max out at about 25lbs.

I love these animals so much, it is sometime difficult for me to remember that they have to pull their own weight, after all- they are not pets. At the same time, I am determined to give them the best life possible, because everyone and everything deserves a chance at happiness.

Firefly Chasin

2011-06-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

Napoleon regularly eats house flies, so the firefly is a nice change of pace for him.

Spring Peepers

2011-03-18T09:53:00.001-07:00

With the temperature hovering around 60 for the past few days, the resurgence of life has been amazing. Silly as it sounds, even the flies buzzing around makes me happy- the light at the end of the tunnel. The most pronounced herald of Spring at this point in time would have to be the Spring Peepers. These little frogs have a VERY loud voice. The male's advertisement call is a series of sharp, piercing, bird-like peeps repeated about once per second of faster. Distant chorus may sound like tinkling of sleigh bells. Breeds throughout the east in ditches, pools, and ponds, from spring to early summer in the north and from winter to spring in the south. These past two days I can hear them calling from our woods out back, and I welcome them with great anticipation. After all Spring is just 2 days away. March 20th 2011

Love Lives On

2011-03-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

Although my boyfriend and I were not in the same state this past Valentines Day, he was there in spirit. He sent me a beautiful bouquet of multicolored roses. Knowing I am not a big fan of red roses, he sprinkled in yellow and pink flowers, perfect in every way. As the days passed and their leaves began to turn, the thought of throwing the drying flowers into the compost pile was just too sad to me. So my mind flipped back to when I was a wee tween and my Granny taught me how to make potpourri, and I resolved I should keep my flowers forever. Here is how I did it.

1. Ordinarily I would allow the petals to dry in the sun, but because it is quite snowy and damp outside, I spread paper towels onto a baking pan and placed the petals on the towels. I then placed the pan in front of my large window in the living room and let it rest in the sun's warm rays all day.

2. The next day I sprinkled Iodized salt evenly over the petals.

3. On the third day, I dehydrated some lemons and oranges (cut crosswise) and added them to the petals. Had I any fresh apples, I would have done the same with them.

4. I then sprinkled a 1/2 cup of my favorite spices over the mixture. I used cinnamon and nutmeg. I placed all in a bowl and mixed lightly with my hands.

And there is my homemade potpourri. I am currently looking for some gauzy fabric to tie it into that way I can place little satchels in our closets and dressers.

New Lives of Spring

2011-03-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

In past years, I have always looked at Spring as the end of Winter or the preclude to Summer. This year, I am beginning to view it as it's own wonderful entity, full of possibilities. Now is the time of year we start to look towards the future, and put forth our plans to help all of our dreams come true. My dreams always seem to revolve around the yummy and the cute. This year I hope to expand our chicken population to include broiler chickens for meat, and multi-colored layers. The chicks pictured are 5 day old Welsummer/ Ameraucana mixes. Separately,Welsummers produce a dark brown egg, and the Ameraucana produces a turquoise colored egg. With this combination, we hope to see a green egg.

In addition to our chicks, we have also picked up 3 new roosters. 2 Brahma and a silkie. The silkie rooster is so quick on his feet, we refer to him as silkie lightning, or Ashley Schaeffer(East Bound and Down). We acquired them free of charge from a family in town limits who could not house rooster due to town ordinances. We plan to keep one of the Brahmas permanently, the other two and our current rooster (the black one pictured above) will go for slaughter as soon as they have gained weight. The sharp looking ladies with the fluffy heads are Polish Hens, and Appenzellers. They will be our first white egg layers, but really, we got them because they are beautiful!

This week in food

2011-03-12T10:27:00.000-08:00

It's no secret gas prices have risen an unconscionable amount over the past 2 weeks. With prices at the pump anticipated to hit $4.00 plus over the Summer, everybody better be prepared. So this past week when I went grocery shopping, I was not shocked to see that all of the items I normally buy had gone up about 35%. Normally, on Sunday of every week, I gather up all of my sales flyers that have come in the mail, and I go through and circle the good buys, that way I can buy mass amounts of them at one time, ensuring that I am as economical as possible. I cook 98% of all of my meals, so it is a given that at some point in time, my food items will all be used. Unfortunately for the past two weeks- there have been no deals to had. Instead, this week, when I opened my flyers I found staring back at me banners declaring it to be frozen food month.

Frozen food month, yet another bizzarre holiday I have not heard of. At the risk of sounding like a brat, I want to point out some of the Ohio's regional oddities. Things like the community mandating that Halloween be a scheduled activity with strictly enforced curfews. To me, Halloween should be celebrated on October 31st, and that is it. It ruins the spirit to celebrate on Saturday October 29th from 6pm-9pm. When I moved here I heard a lot of talk about something called "Sweetest Day". Basically, Sweetest Day is akin to Valentine's Day. Of course, never having heard of this Sweetest Day, I proceeded to call as many of my friends and asked them if they had heard of it. They had not. With a little reaserch I found it was a contrived holiday created by confectioners in order to get people to buy their goods. Talk about a Hallmark Holiday. And now, we have made-up holiday.

With gas prices as high as they are, it seems incomprehensible to me why frozen foods would be promoted. Frozen foods as we know, are not grown in our backyards, quite the contrary, often times the produce is grown thousands of miles away, and transported to your local grocer. Conventional food production and distribution requires a tremendous amount of energy—one study conducted in 2000 estimated that ten percent of the energy used annually in the United States was consumed by the food industry. It seems to me we can't afford to spend more money on non-renewable fuels, as a matter of fact, I think we are spending far too much on it now. And all for no reason. With industrial farming reigning supreme, we have seen the decline of local and sustainable produce over the past 50 years. Not only is the food you buy in the grocery store more expensive, it is not nearly as healthy for you. Everybody knows, the fresher the better. Aside from the health benefits, think about the difference 10% total consumption of fossil fuels saved would make in our economy. Rather than tapping into our countries fossil fuel reserves, why don't we start conserving?!

As for us, well, lets just say we are looking forward to Spring and Summer. In my basement right now, I have started over 50 varieties of vegetables to go into our 1/2 acre garden. Talk about saving fuel, the only energy I will need to acquire my food is the caloric kind I will use by walking and picking. If I am going to use frozen foods, I would much prefer to have frozen them myself! Many people think it is not possible to have their own garden for one reason or another, but I assure you, where there is a will there is a way. And if you simply don't care to garden, why can't you buy local? Oh I can't tell you how often I think about this. The only reason I can really come up with is that people in general are detached from their food. I hope to see this change, if no other reason than to observe the joy it can bring to create and cultivate life.

Wishing on a Pole Barn

2011-03-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

Some little girls dream of the day when they will be married, others of what they will become. Well, when I finally grow up, I want to have everything in my back yard I have ever dreamed of.

Call me crazy, but I think this one is actually do-able. I have no desire for a horse, but put a zebra in front of me and I swear I will try to ride it. I know they are notoriously hard to break, but hey, does the fact that I have 0 horse skills stop my dream, no. It does not. Jennie, eat your heart out!

The brown eggs are Cuckoo Maran's doing- and the turquoise the Auracana. I will have you soon my prettys!

The occellated turkey is even more beautiful than a peacock, AND I could eat them! Too bad they are a wild breed found in the Yucatan Peninsula. Road trip anyone?

Next we have the Jersey Woolly- represent. j/k

The Bengal cat has the coolest markings ever. I cannot fully express how tickled pink I would be to watch this little tiger hunt mice in the barn day in and day out.

Banana tree because I really love bananas.

You may think that is a tomato, but you are wrong. That is an Orange Turkish Eggplant, great for stuffing.

Next, a producing Olive Tree. Sure- I could go out and buy a baby cheaply, but who wants to wait 8 years for production?

Now for the fun part! For anyone who knows me, you probably also know how much I LOVE Halloween. These next three items really scream "scary possibilities" to me.

1st. The Red Atomic Carrot- super mega cool

2nd Heirloom Maiz Mordao, one of the oldest corn varieties known to man. Peruvian, and mega healthy.

3rd The all white Lumina Pumpkin. I.MUST.HAVE.

Last, but not least- I want, no- I need a peach tree. mmmmm, the smell, the sticky wonderful smell of fermenting peaches will forever be stuck as an eternal reminder that Summer is the best month ever.

King of the Castle

2011-02-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

Happy 7th Birthday to the best doggins in the world. In conjuncture with it being Napoleon's birthday, it is also make up Valentines Day for RJ & I. Since we missed the real one because he was away in the Sunshine State, we have to keep to romance alive and well. So, tonight we are off to see the most romantic movie there is, True Grit. I can thank my dear friend Rob Madden for planting that seed. Thanks boufs.

Bound

2010-12-27T13:55:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow morning we drive to my mom's in Jersey. I am a little apprehensive about leaving the animals in the care of RJ's younger siblings, but I'm keeping an open mind. It will be nice to see my entire family, and get to meet my new cousin Conner. Okay, not really- I'm looking forward to getting all of my Christmas gifts. Also really looking forward to seeing Kat and Paige and going out dancing for New Years. Crossing my fingers that there are no dramatic flare ups.

Into, and in a BIG way

2010-12-26T12:21:00.000-08:00

The mayhem is done. Well halfway done- I have yet to brave my own family upon my homecoming to New Jersey. As usual my holiday has completely revolved around food (just the way I like it). In light of the New Year ahead of us, I am going to focus on the good- the bad and the ugly will have to wait a little while- I have a new obsession. Cake Balls. MMM MMMM MMM. I would not hesitate to get my little paws on the last of these tasty treats, and who would have thought?! I mean cake is alright, but I have been a firm believer that even the most mediocre pie is better than the best cake, but it appears that world has turned upside down. These little balls of joy aside from being ultra rich are ultra moist, and compact! Move over cupcakes, these small babies are the new dessert to beat, in my world anyway!

Gifts from the ladies

2010-12-23T07:45:00.000-08:00

Good news, Santa came early! My hens have started laying. Currently I have 9 hens and a rooster a departure from last week when we had 6 roosters. We took the other 5 males and had them butchered for meat because they tend to be very aggresive and constantly harass our lady hens. I chose to keep the most docile black rooster in order to keep egg production up. Lucky fella. Every day is like Easter for me. Because we don't have a formal coop set up, they live in the pole barn for now with our 5 calves. With so many places to hide eggs I have to search twice daily to make sure that I've found them all. Right now they seem to favor the furthermost section of the hay loft. Their nest looks just like any other birdies nest, just larger. I'm loving the treasure hunt aspect of it.

Gumdrops and Cold Toes

2010-12-16T17:05:00.000-08:00

Whenever I think of Christmas, I think of gumdrops. Always red and green, always glittering with their thick coats of sugar. The big old glass bulbs always have reminded me of them. Now it's hard to get your hands on the good Christmas lights, stores are too busy profiting off of LED lights and cheesy blow up lawn decorations to bring a little class to the holidays. In addition to terrible holiday decorations, there are plenty of the things about the holidays that I dislike.

1. Blow up anything- snowmen, Santa- snow globes. You name it, I've seen and hated it.

2. Fake icicle lights. Yuck. The only reason icicles have any appeal in the first place is because in order to enjoy them you must risk getting impaled. Danger always makes things a little more fun. Example: Action Park

3. Nativity scenes. They scare me a little, I am not 100% sure why.

4. Dirty snow. I guess I am speaking in Winter generalities now. I love it when it is coming down and especially when it weighs down the boughs of a pretty pine. But three days later at a 4 way stop in town- the snow looks like pollution incarnate.

5.Waiting until the last minute to buy gifts. I think everyone experiences the frightful experience of shopping on the weekend before Christmas. People are animals.

6. Family Ties. While it is nice to catch up with some people, there are other you clearly wish would drop off the planet forever. You get together once a year- and that is too often.

7. Getting the perfect gift for your boyfriend/ girlfriend. If you are having sex with him, you better pick out a nice gift. The pressure is enormous. Ugh.

8. Constant Christmas music. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music. Once I have heard the 5th rendition of White Christmas in 5 hours I'm ready to shoot someone.

9. The cat pulling down the Christmas tree and/or almost hanging to death amongst the lights.

10. Not having tons of $$$$$$ to celebrate the way I want to.

11. The letdown of not being at home to celebrate with my family. No offense but your food kind of stinks.

12. Shitty gifts. I know you got me a candle because you don't know me at all. Next time spring for a $5 gift card, okay?

13. Wrapping gifts- I am terrible at it and feel shame when I hand over a shoddily wrapped gift.

14. This is perhaps my biggest gripe with Xmas. I hate the fact that we celebrate Christmas on December 25th. December 21st is only the start of Winter, it's like we are blowing our load a little early. With the fun part of the Winter over with, all we have to look forward to is dirty snow and bleak, cold days. Everyone realizes that the birth of the man we describe as Jesus Christ took place sometime in the Spring- I mean, I am not asking for exact perfection, but damn- how about January 25th?

Regardless, without the bad I could not appreciate the good. I love Christmas. I love tinsel, fires, beautifully wrapped presents, and candy bowls filled with Christmas themed candies! I will take it when I can get it.

If it's going to be cold out, it might as well be snowing

2010-12-05T17:52:00.000-08:00

I love the snow. How can something speak to me so loudly and be silent at the same time?

Femivorism

2010-12-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

Why is it that we tend to judge the people closest to us based on our own personal standards? We all have our own unique set of beliefs that have been formed by our life experience, so if you really love someone, why can't you just accept them for who they are? Even though one's choices might vary from your own, if you really care for someone you should just love them for their individuality without trying to change them.
People tend to pigeon hole me. Homemaker and domestic are the words of choice as of late. It's not that I mind the terms in themselves, it's more or less the tones and looks that go along with them, never mind the inevitable question "When are you getting married?". Everyone has a need to have others figured out. I'm put into a jar with a nice neat little label to provide instant reference. At first I thought it might be my imagination, but no its not. I have no reason to be self conscience- I mean I'm happy and exactly where I want to be. I just can't figure out why people tell me I am domestic now- as if I have given up my big wonderful life in the city to a cozy domicile where man rules. We are living in a society where big paychecks equal success, and a homemaker is defined through her ties to her home and her man. I have never been one to let myself be defined by what I do- but would rather be associated with what I believe in. And man let me tell you, I have had some shitty, degrading jobs- but staying at home is not one of them. I feel as if I have finally gotten out from underneath the pressure to succeed according Bloomingdale's & the Upper East Side in general. Yes, everybody- I will give you a label to stick on my Jar- Femivore. What is a femivore you ask?

"Femivorism is grounded on the very principle of self- sufficiency, autonomy, and personal fulfillment that drove women into the work force in the first place."

I walk outside onto my 10 acres and I have chickens that lay my eggs, cows that will be butchered for the freshest hormone free meat you can imagine, a garden that can produce enough food for me to eat from all year long, fruit trees that provide endless amounts of tastys, blackberry bushes that give oh so yummy morsels- and more than that. With all of these tools at my finger tips- I make the healthiest food imaginable. This is the year of the pie- sweet potato, cherry, apple, pumpkin, ice cream, and later today pecan. Low calorie? No. But who the hell cares about calories when you have fresh and local food on your table every night. The smell of fresh baking bread is not to be missed. Guess what people-Bread is flour, salt and yeast at its most simple- and that is super economical. No gas needed to go to the store to buy the over processed shit that is passed off as bread in the stores. We rarely go out to eat. While some people may feel bad for me, I feel bad for them. I own my home and you own your meal at the restaurant for a night. I don't frequent the mall, but make do with what I have (and hope for great Xmas gifts, hint hint). For entertainment we have camp fires, star gazing sessions, 4 wheeler rides, endless amusement at the paws of our pets and most importantly- each other. Most people can't make the distinction between what they want and what they need. Been there, done that. Now rather than being helpless- I am empowered. I don't need to earn a lot of money because I have the things I need most. I am so happy and I wish others could see this too. Why is it that we must judge our friends and loved ones according to the the standards we set for ourselves Everyone is different, so why can't we just live ad let live?

Thanksgiving and Thanksgetting

2010-11-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

As a child, my elders would caution me to enjoy my youth while I still had it, because before I knew it, the days would turn into years, and then disappear completely. They would always say it with an air, as if they woke up one day to the fact that they were suddenly in their mid 50's posing the question, "where did my life go?". Now in my 25th year in life, I feel as if Thanksgiving has suddenly pulled a fast one on me. No doubt, I have noticed with every year that goes by, time seems to move a little more quickly. Not that I would like to feel like a girl of 16 anymore- its just, well I would like everything to slow down a little!

Where do the days go to so quickly? Am I that cynical to where the days seem to blend in with each other? Is that why the weeks fly by so quickly? No doubt I have had lots of life experience, but surely there is more out there waiting to be had. The excitement that used to preceed the Fall & Winter holidays have fizzled out. Perhaps the holidays don't hold as much importance anymore. After all, I can cook better than some others and I can certainly buy things for myself rather than making a list. I have a sneaking suspicion that perhaps in the ever changing social hierarchy of friends and family, certain new roles are being developed while others are being eliminated, thus removing some of the ritualistic traditions of the past. Nostalgia is a powerful thing, but it means so much more if it is tied to positive associations. As I get older I feel as if more and more of these holidays fall short of the radiant memories of my childhood. Perhaps as I get older as wiser my eyes are opened to all that is happening, and not just selective childhood impressions. I can only hope that I can once again find the same childish excitement for holidays in the future as in the past, because I truly do look forward to forging new memories.

This Thanksgiving we are all scheduled to go over to RJ's parent's house. I am bringing sweet potato pies with homemade whipped cream. I did a trial run through the other day, and it tasted A okay. This will be my second Thanksgiving in Ohio. Last year I spent the holiday with Lauren Barrett, her mother, then boyfriend and of course- RJ. It was unconventional to say the least but I loved every minute of it. It was the first time I had celebrated the holiday with people outside of the family. But then again Lauren is very much like family, minus the agonizing childhood memories. Now she is in Portland and I can only hope she will make time for Turkey and family this year. Not that I need to worry about her, she has her shit together perhaps more than anyone else I know.

Tempest in a Teapot

2010-11-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

I've come to rely on the fact that the only thing certain in life is uncertainty itself. Just as I have been trying to aquaint myself with Christmas lights springing up before Thanksgiving the atmosphere throws something unanticipated towards my sprawl in rural America- a thunderstorm. The air is warm and wet, and feels more like a spring dusk than a fall dawn. Now in the viscous night, I contemplate my exact coordinates in this vast world.

I am happy, in such a complete way that I never thought possible. I have health, love and freedom of being. Sometimes I feel as if I am floating above everyone else. Yet beyond my bright light there lingers inpeneterable darkness in the form of questions. Questions- mostly from those who surround me at a distance. I would prefer to worry about real problems rather than those made up in the minds of others, but I entertain them nontheless.

One of the greatest things about faith, is the leway to question it at the core. At the end of the day, I look into some of the kindest and most handsome blue eyes in the world. I swear I could swim in them... While others may feel the need to inform me that living on the outskirts of civilised life is bad for me as a liberated woman, I can only chuckle and nod. True freedom begins in the heart- and my heart soars every day. The unexpected comes not from judgement, but from happiness, and thus everything is right in my world.

Painted Fire

2010-11-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

With destrution comes new life. Every new beggining comes from some other beggining's end. Goodbye soybeans!

There is no place like home

2009-10-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

and home is where the heart is. While my person remains firmly planted in NJ at the moment, my essence has drifted off to another state. Its about time to pack it up around here, and I couldn't be more excited. Maintaining two seperate households is new to me, and I look forward to the stress of such a pleasent problem.

Spring is in the air

2009-03-16T12:35:00.001-07:00

The days are teasing me with the rise and fall of temperature. My anticipation for the first buds on the trees is intensified by the fact that along with Spring comes the advent in yet another chapter of my life. Philadelphia bound....

Procrastination gives me something to look forward to.

2009-02-24T15:41:00.000-08:00

Back from my little vacation in Florida, lots of sun but not enough fun. Enough said, I shall wash my hands of that affair right now. The only thing that I really need to focus on in this moment is my impending move. A haircut is in order too.

Fredrick

2008-12-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

this is my new pal Fredrick. I have not forgotten Robert...but it is time to move on. Merry Xmas!

Snow Day

2008-12-21T21:56:00.000-08:00

Goodbye my brave water soldier.

2008-12-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

You were a good fish. I'm sorry if I failed you.

RIP Robert 12/8/08

Well hello New Jersey!

2008-11-15T02:02:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday night, now actually early Sunday morning. After blowing off some stress I am able to relax and laugh at the little things in life. Like going out with a coworker I barely know and adjusting to one another as well as finding some surprises in the ladies room. These things make up the patchwork quilt of our lives, and if I can't laugh at them, I am missing the point. Taking yourself too seriously always results in disappointment so I keep it light.

2008-11-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

Sleeping Pill + Hot Bath = Bliss

2008-11-11T21:23:00.001-08:00

I have not taken a bath in god knows how long, but the urge struck me tonight. Usually I dismiss the idea as time consuming and disgusting, considering that usually you are just wallowing in your own filth for 45 minutes. However tonight my bath lasted 15 minutes because I started to get a little too relaxed. Tomorrow I head out into the city for a full day and nights worth of debauchery.

The Ill Effects of Alchohol

2008-10-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

Drunkenness is nothing more than voluntary madness, and I think everyone realizes that it is OK with moderation. When someone crosses over to the dark side it can be scary, mostly for the people surrounding them.

Twice in the same day I experienced the extremes of alcohol, unfortunately I was not the drunk or this would be a much different post. For one I probably would have told a lie by now, alcoholics tend to lie about everything big and small. To be around someone with a skewed view of the truth can be truly infuriating, especially when you are trying to make a point. It is not as bad when I am are around people who are drinking, but they aren't necessarily there with me. Annoying of course, but not nearly as bad as showing up to a party with someone who gets obliterated and embarrasses the shit out of me.

Another lovely side affect of alcohol is violence. You know when someone is talking to you with a warble in their voice and clenched fists, its time to book it! Mood swings inhibit drunks, so make sure to steer clear when you see someone going from fun loving to crying....then screaming. Its usually an indication that things are going wrong.

Beyond the unpleasantry that is being around a lush, it is that persons choice to consume the alcohol. While it may be an inconvenience to the people around, they can do that. When someone takes it to the other level of trying to drink and drive, or trying to control the surroundings while they are drunk that is one big dangerous problem. Drinking and driving is not cool and should be avoided at all costs. If I can not convince whoever has been drinking not to drive, you better be sure I am OUT of that vehicle.

I can not control he actions of those around me, I can only respond in the ways I know. I realize that people with addictive personalities almost never prosper on their own, but at some point it becomes exhausting to constantly babysit. There comes a point when I realize, wow this person really does not even want my help. So if the don't want my help....and they don't want professional help...I really don't see the point of sticking around to enable their habits. Today I will wash my hands of these toxic relationships, even though you still owe me money. Its not even worth the grief.

And the Winner Is.....

2008-10-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

So last night was the Project Runway Season 5 finale, and I found it to be anything but grand. Last weeks shocking turn of events sent home Jarell, and while his works may be a bit "garish" I enjoyed his funny little personality. Oh what was that quote..."If you want a plain white tee, get it from Micheal Kors" I loved it. Last night I was fairly surprised that the contestants were able to turn it out as much as they did.
Kenley's designs drew the eye to them, but her collection lacked an overall cohesiveness, and it did look as if she designed most of the outfits for a group of long out of use Barbie dolls.
The real shocker for me was Korto. Not only did her collection pop from the use of color, but also it had this very refined look that I have never really seen executed in that fashion. Watching her stuff come down the runway I thought, wow this could really be Vogue's summer pictorial. It had a regal and bold air about it. After seeing that, I thought she had it in the bag.
Leanne showed last with a muted color palate and a definite point of view that left me thinking, is she a one trick pony? Those petals were interesting, but not very pretty. I was so pissed off when she won. All of her designs were all right, but, I just did not believe she deserved to win. I cannot see women walking around in those fugly skirts. Then again she is from the West Coast and their fashion sense is very different than us East Coast gals. I applaud her for her fabric choices and her victory alike. In my book she still can't hold a candle to Christian Siriano.

Hello Charlie

2008-10-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

I now introduce:

Liz and Toni, my coworkers at CB's. Can you believe these broads are in their 30's & 40's?! I can't. Its so nice to meet new people different than anyone I know at this point in time.

Oktoberfest

2008-10-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

The Oktoberfest is a sixteen-day festival held each year in Munich, Bavaria & Germany during late September (and running to early October). It is one of the most famous events in the city and the world's largest fair, with some six million people attending every year, and is an enjoyable event with an important part of Bavarian culture. Other cities across the world also hold Oktoberfest celebrations, modeled after the Munich event. (Wikipedia)

Because I'm all about themes and festivities, I decided to start off October with a a nice cold Stella and some delicious pretzels in typical Oktoberfest fashion. This is one of my new favorites, ranking close to Cinco de Mayo and Halloween. I advise everyone to get out there and celebrate with a beer and a friend.

This Is Where I Am

2008-09-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

The Summer has came and went but I am stationary.

I Am

I am- yet what I am, none cares or knows;
My Friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes-
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love's frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and Live- Like vapours tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the cast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
Even the dearest that I love the best
Are strange- nay rather, stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly swept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below, above the vaulted sky

John Clare